4 Simple Ways Your Daughter Can Crush It In Games Like She Does In Practice
Is your daughter playing great in practice...
...but struggling in games?
Well if so, I've got a little secret that I want to share with you right now:
More swings in the cage is NOT going to fix her problem.
Neither is telling her what she's doing wrong, or suggesting that she "relax" or "stay confident".
It's not that these are bad suggestions or anything...in fact they're spot on.
The problem is, it just doesn't work.
It didn't work for me when I was a player.
I always went into panic mode when I struggled...even in little league.
But lucky for me, my slumps never lasted *too* terribly long...
...so when the hits came back, my confidence came back.
But fast forward to my last year of professional baseball with the Astros, and the cold streaks got longer and deeper.
Back in 2005, I spent much of the year not only fighting to stay above .200, but also fighting the loss of confidence and the MAJOR fear about the future.
"What happens if I don't turn this around?"
I had no confidence at the plate and my coaches (and everyone else with eyeballs) could see it plain as day.
Coaches tried to encourage me with "Don't worry about it, just play"
or "You're a good player, believe in yourself."
And while their suggestions were perfect advice....
It was TERRIBLE instruction!
Like, "Oh okay just be confident *snaps fingers*, now I am better!"
You can't talk someone into being confident, and while I appreciated those kind suggestions...
...they never improved my confidence...or my results.
And now that I'm a father, those suggestions don't work on my kids either.
In practice my boy would be great. His ability was on par with his teammates, his actions were smooth, confident and strong.
And then come gametime, things would change.
After a tough at bat or two (or shoot, sometimes before his first at bat!) that player I've seen all week in practice...
would just disappear.
So that'd start the cycle of him feeling bad about himself, wondering what other people are thinking about him and finally thinking bad thoughts about what kind of player he is.
So now that I was seeing the doubts, fears and concerns that haunted my mind during my playing days now playing tricks on my kid...
...and my hollow suggestions of "just stay confident, be aggressive" having no impact at all...
I knew there had to be a better way.
...and there IS a better way.
Now, here's something to think about...
What if getting your daughter to consistently perform at her best was less about following directions and endless repetitions in practice...
...and more about giving her the tools and steps to handle her emotions to ALLOW for her training and skill to shine on gameday.
Really think about that.
Because the mind left alone on the softball field is like a wild beast rampaging through a city.
You can't just talk this beast into behaving...
...or just hope that he goes away.
Action needs to be taken to eliminate the problem.
Now, I have three actionable techniques to share with you that applied will make an ACTUAL difference in your daughter's performance.
But before I do I want to share a quick example with you...
The Jones' vs The Lovejoy's
The Jones' vs The Lovejoy's is a concept I came up with to help demonstrate the two camps or mindsets that us as parents and players operate within.
Although these are not real “flesh and blood” people per se — their traits are absolutely real and based on real people.
You’re currently one of ’em.
Which one? … well, you’ll need to read the rest of this page to discover that.
But know this … one of them is struggling through this baseball process. The other is crushing it.
Meet the Jones family:
and now meet The Lovejoy's
You see, the Jones family means well.
Little Jones loves softball.
And while she's not the best on his team, she has her moments when she puts it all together and she's really great.
She says that he wants to play in high school and college someday, and while that's a little far off to focus on, her parents want to give her every opportunity to reach her goals, whatever that might be.
The problem is that her smooth, quick, carefree swing that she shows at home and at practice hasn't been there on gamedays.
Look at her last at bat:
First pitch, the pitcher comes right at her with a fastball down the middle, and everything about her is slower.
Her swing just drifts through the zone, no resemblance to the confident swing Mr Jones has seen her take a thousand times.
"Swing the bat! Be aggressive!" Dad shouts suggests.
Now down 0-1, she already looks tight in the box.
"Why is she standing like that?" Dad wonders.
Pitch comes and she tries to swing harder, but the result is more of a herky jerky swing with no rhythm...timing is all off.
Strike two.
The next two pitches are both balls, she has a pretty good eye most of the time.
Then the 2-2 pitch comes, she takes her hack and again...it looks slower.
She makes contact but it's not that solid. Ground ball to the shortstop and they get the force out at second. No hit for little Jones.
And this happens time and time again.
Dad thinks" If only she would use his GOOD swing, things would be so much better."
And on the car ride home, Dad really gets on a roll.
He doesn't yell...but he's not exactly calm either.
"What were you doing on that first at bat?" "Just be aggressive" "You know that thing you were doing with your hands in practice this week that worked so well? You didn't do that at all today."
Dad's frustrated.
And so is everyone else in the car.
Now, back to the real world...
...and I'll be honest with you, me and my kid have been just like the Jones family.
But I finally decided that I didn't want this to be our experience.
I wanted my son to give HIMSELF a chance to succeed, and see what he can do.
And I certainly don't want our athletic experience (which should be peak parent/child bonding right?) to be be filled with such tension.
So I looked into options.
I read books.
I called on the best minds I could get a hold of.
And I found fantastic news.
There are ACTUALLY steps and strategies that players can use to combat their nerves and play their best softball/baseball.
There is a way to become the Lovejoy's.