In an effort to make sure that my kid didn't miss out on the training that me and my teammates should have received...
I started doing research...
and to be quite honest, I became obsessed with all things thought, brain and self control related.
And what I found is that there are MANY ways for a player to calm the mind and perform with freedom and confidence.
In fact, there were so many good strategies that it made me kinda mad!
Like, this would have been really helpful, ya know?!
And during the Youth Baseball Summit that I hosted earlier this year, I spoke with the most trusted mental skills coaches who are working daily with our multi-million dollar Major Leaguers on getting their minds right...
(because yes, their minds want to play tricks as well)
...and common themes and methods continued to come up....
...very helpful methods that WE'RE NOT EVEN SHOWING to our young softball players, let alone helping them put into practice.
And in the year 2018 with this being such a problem, this just isn't okay for me.
Imagine if I sent a kid out into the forest and said, "Go kill a bear."
...and gave her no tool or weapon to accomplish his task!
"Figure it out Miss, find a way!
"...oh, and stay confident!"
That girl isn't going to last long out there.
And that's EXACTLY what we're doing with our kids on the field...
Hitting a ball isn't what's so hard. Catching isn't what is so hard...
...it's dealing with the mental demons!
We parents and coaches ask them to slay these demons and give them no tools to do so.
And the result??
Yep, these kids aren't lasting long out there.
But the strategies are out there and I didn't want to wonder "What if" I had shown these techniques to my kid.
He wasn't going to be a Jones, he was going to be a Lovejoy.
So the first technique to making that transition is to.....
1. Reinterpret Your Emotions
The emotion of feeling nervous feels ALMOST EXACTLY like the emotion of being excited.
The difference is simply in how the mind labels these feelings.
So when a player feels those vibrations in the body, she is not to say that she's "nervous" or has "the jitters"...
...rather she is "excited".
She is "ready".
Changing the words we use will LITERALLY change the way our brain signals to the body.
So instead of trying to perform the task of hitting a baseball with the body thinking "Oh no, there's a problem"...
...the body now believes "Ok this is great, we're prepared and all is perfect. Let's go".
Which mindset do you think will allow for more fluid and confident motions?
2. Don't Calm Down
Feeling these vibrations of "excitement" are not just normal, they're required.
As Hannah Thurley, mental skills coach for the Philadelphia Phillies told me during the Summit:
"You don't want to calm down. That's not the goal."
Take a look at these three race horses:
Now you tell me, if these horses were going to race 60 seconds from now...
Who are you betting your money on?
Look at horse number one, it is nice and relaxed.
Shoot, it's laying down!!!
It's the horse our daughters *think* they should feel like when they compete.
When we tell our kids to relax, they THINK that they shouldn't feel any emotion at all, and when they STILL feel the emotion they believe that something is wrong with them personally...deepening their lack of confidence and intensifying the anxiety.
Now look at horse number three, he's fired up!
The emotions of the moment are getting the best of him, and has lost focus on the task at hand.
And finally look closely at horse number two.
I want you to see this really clearly:
This horse is not calm.
If you notice, his emotions have him walking a little sideways here.
The emotions are pumping through his body at a very high level, but he's still locked in to the moment.
If you're the owner of this horse with millions of dollars on the line..
...would you want him to calm down?
Of course not.
I was an infielder for my entire career, but my senior year in college I found myself in the closer role as well.
And one thing that I found was I *always* could throw harder in games.
It didn't matter how much I tried to amp myself up in the bullpen, there was an extra 2-3 MPH that I simply couldn't access unless I felt the game time adrenaline.
I realized that the game time emotions and adrenaline actually gave me a sort of super power.
So instead of focusing on how "different" and "nervous" I was during the mound, I welcomed it.
"Yes, it's here! I'm ready to do this."
Understanding this concept will change everything.
3. What Would Jennie Finch Do?
I love this one...
This involves a lil role playing and visualization and is used by the Lovejoy's of the world.
Ask yourself, how would Jennie Finch feel in the on deck circle?
How would she stand?
How would she feel in the dugout after making an out?
Would she lose her confidence? Would she say bad things about herself? Would she think about quitting?
Never.
So YOU should behave the same way in those same situations.
Just straight up pretend if you have to.
Here's a great quote from "The Inner Game of Tennis":
"With our athletes we use a type of role playing. We say, "Imagine that I am the director of a television series. Knowing that you are an actor that plays tennis, I ask if you would like to do a bit part as a top-flight tennis player. I assure you that you needn't worry about hitting the ball out or into the net because the camera will only be focused on you and will not follow the ball. What I'm mainly interested in is that you adopt professional mannerisms, and that you swing your racket with superior self-assurance.
"Above all, your face must express no self doubt. You should look as if you are hitting every ball exactly where you want to. Really get into the role, hit as hard as you like and ignore where the ball is actually going."
This is so big.
You cannot wait to experience positive results before you start behaving with confidence.
I'm gonna say that again to make sure you get this one:
You cannot wait to experience positive results before you start behaving with confidence.
So act confident NOW, even if you don't have much reason to. And THEN positive results will follow.
and there is one more crucial element to becoming more like The Lovejoy's...