The single worst question you could ask a kid after a competition is…
“How’d you do today?”
According to former Olympian and mental coach Lanny Bassham, the mind is *way* too negative for that question to prompt anything but a critical answer.
But there ARE three *fantastic* questions that a parent should ask after every game/practice/school day/ etc…
(Ok maybe not everyday. These questions can be so effective in any setting but if your kids are like mine, if I asked every day I’d start to get the eye roll 🙂
So here we go….
Question number 1: What’d you do right?
“Imprinting” is a term Lanny talks about at great length…
…meaning what you choose to focus on *after* a performance will have a major impact on your next performance.
So what the highest performers do, is avoid negativity AT ALL COSTS.
Only. Focus. On. The. Positive.
Focusing on what went right is a great way to get a player into the all so crucial “growth self image” mindset.
Question number 2: What did you learn?
Mistakes aren’t just ok, they’re required for growth.
So this question does a great job of stopping a player from having a pity-party about a moment they wish hadn’t happened….
…and now start thinking about what adjustments can be made.
Ok, and question number 3: What are you gonna do about it?
(I love these 3 questions if you couldn’t tell 🙂
There are two choices in any situation:
Focus on the problems…
…or focus on the solutions.
When we focus on the solutions, we de-personalize the situation and also have less mental space to worry about negativity…
…and get right back into the “growth self image” mindset.
If you want to watch the clip, click here and go to the 24 minute mark and watch Lanny break it down for us.
Let me know what you think, I always love your feedback!
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